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OCCUPATION: Unemployed
SPECIES: Vampire
AGE: 22
HEIGHT: 6'2
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: FKing Complex
PREFERENCE: Demisexual
APPLICATION: http://swordsofsperiling.b1.jcink.com/index.php?act=ST&f=4&t=3154
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STATUS: Will you ever return?
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Joined: 14-November 17
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Last Seen: Mar 4 2018, 09:47 PM
Local Time: Jun 19 2018, 07:28 AM
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Raine Blakely

Wanderer

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Dec 28 2017, 04:32 PM
The initial post is a form of torture in it's own, and I don't know if it will get better or worse. This thread is M for Torture and god knows what else might happen. Fair warning.

**Edit: The further down this post gets the more it has suggestions towards sexual assault. Again. You've been warned!


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Raine was surrounded by darkness, the only light bouncing off of soft flames as he watched Sirius leave him behind. Tears rolled down his cheeks, shock still written across his face for the sword in his stomach pinning him against that wall. It was so cold, and Raine felt so alone with only the sound of the demon to keep him company. The sounds echoed off the walls back at Raine as he stood there, trembling and in pain. <i>'Of course he'd leave you here, don't you get it? None of it is real. They've both left you the second you weren't what they wanted. That's not love. There is no love. It's not real, stupid kid. If someone loved you, they'd know you're not yourself. They'd know, because isn't that the lie people tell themselves? Love is beyond reason? They've done this before, haven't they? Used you, abused and hurt you just for what they wanted at that moment.'</i> <p>

Raine just wanted to block it out, for it to shut up or for any distraction from what it was telling him. All of these horrible things, all of the ways it pointed things out. The sword moved, creating another small painful cut. It did this a few times, as the demon had when it was real. The demon moving against it just to hear the way Raine screamed. This moment was something that would haunt him forever as it consumed his dreams over and over again. All he wanted in those moments was for someone to help him, for Sirius or Quinn to come and save him from himself here. To prove the demon wrong, but the darkness around him just got darker and darker. They weren't coming. Sirius had left him there to starve, Sirius wasn't coming back for him and Quinn had given up on him so quickly. No light in sight for him, just the bounding reflection of a different face on that glowing sword providing enough light to illuminate him and the crack in that wall he tried so hard to stay still against.


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Dec 14 2017, 10:04 PM
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<div class="quote">dance fucker dance</div>
<div class="achance"> @Sirius Schwartz </div>

Raine was still covered in blood as he made is way through the trees. The scent of sex Quinn and fear was covering him, as well as the scent of his victims. Internally so many things were breaking, he was falling apart on the inside not having control, not being able to stop his body from causing so much havoc. Yes, Raine had been trying to do these things and harden himself, but he wanted to be in control when it happened. Being a sideline observer to his own life was terrifying. <p>

The creature in control was cruel, more cruel than Quinn could dream to be. Raine wanted to run from it, and the creature knew this. Knew how weak Raine really was. It seemed irritable about having taken Raine's body, and it was taking fun in tormenting Raine as a result. The creature was searching for a place to hide when light came into the sky, bitching in Raine's mind about how pathetic this body was, how he hated vampires. <p>

It took several moments before the scent caught the attention of both Raine and the creature controling him. 'Sirius..? The thought was internal, and almost pleading. If Quinn couldn't tell, maybe Sirius would, right? Then his thought was repeated outloud, his physical body looking around for the scent. The creature knew where it was, but it also knew that there might be fun if Raine knew the scent. Memories were filtered through for an image of Sirius, and there was a smirk on his face before it was pushed down. <p>

'This will be fun, don't you think? Let's see what we can do here, hm?' <p>

The creatures thoughts had Raine cold. This was not good, and he was hoping Sirius would know. Would see that it wasn't him, that something was wrong. "S-Sirius?" The creature was acting shy, timid. Something it assumed Raine probably was often - and wasn't wrong in that aspect.

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Dec 11 2017, 05:58 PM
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<div class="pa-staffacpt">@Tarquin Ellis</div>
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<img src="http://blog.creativelive.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Screen-Shot-2014-10-06-at-10.32.55-AM.png" style="width: 275px;">
<div class="pa-staffins3">save me from this monster I've become</div>
<div class="pa-staffins"><div class="pa-staffins2">

THIS THREAD IS EXTREMELY MATURE, ALMOST ALL POSTS CONTAINING VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ACTIVITY, AND SUGGESTIONS TOWARDS SEXUAL ABUSE
<p>


It had to have been at least a week since Raine went back to the estate. He'd been trying so hard to let go of the feelings which kept him from accepting Quinn's darker parts. Raine knew he needed to numb himself, that he needed to eventually let that darkness in. He had started his week small. A few kills just to feed himself. That alone had been hard, because he kept thinking of the girl who Quinn had brought back to him. That's where his first idea to numb himself came. He needed to stop hearing others, he needed to be in control without letting screams and cries and pleading bother him. <p>

So many hard things to deal with, Raine had done it though. Oddly enough, the fear for what he was doing had been enough to keep the blood lust at bay until he bit in. The more he did it, the less it bothered him. That was the goal, anyway. It seemed the reality was that the more he did it the worse it was bothering him. He had too many things wrapped up inside of who he was still. Too much humanity. Raine wanted to be cold, though. He was breaking himself more and more with each kill, until he finally decided he couldn't do this alone. Being this cold, this cruel... It was going to take more time and more work that Raine was capable on his own, all he was doing was building more to haunt himself over. <p>

This wasn't to say he hadn't gotten colder to it in some aspects, but that was more so the way he was blocking it out. He was forcing himself not to feel it. Eventually he would break down, eventually it would become something he had to deal with, but for now Raine was trying his best. Raine made his way to the estate with the whimpering man in his arms, still squirming very lightly. Raine kept his face up, he refused to look down, refused to breath in that scent which would drive his instincts crazy, refused to see thast face which would cause him to soften. Raine had done his best to weaken the man, though he had not dared to take a bite out of him yet. The bruises and breaks throughout his body would be more than enough, and it showed the violent side Raine was trying to let out. He hadn't been just killing and eating, he had been toying and cruel. <p>

Raine pushed the door in and dropped the man roughly on the floor. Still he tried to move which gained a growl from Raine. The vampire had intended to go find Quinn, to invite him to join Raine in this desperate attempt to harden himself to the world Quinn lived in. Raine honestly just needed that push from Quinn being there. The support, even if Quinn didnt realize what it was. But no, instead of going and finding Quinn, Raine was stuck here pinning this man down. It pissed him off as he held the man down at his wrists, sitting on the struggling males back to keep him in place. A low growl came out next to his ear, a warning. "You're wasting your energy, and I need that."

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Dec 8 2017, 05:17 PM
this thread is intended to become very intimate and volatile. mature concepts such as rape are expected. be advised.



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You don't know half of the abuse.

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Raine had noticed that Quinn was gone, it wasn't completely lost on him, but he dismissed it for the same reason he had dismissed Sirius leaving. Things changed, they changed so intensely the moment Sirius's tender hand touched his face. The moment Sirius's lips had met his with so much heat. It was unexpected, it was hard to believe that it had actually happening. Saying he was okay with it and actually doing it was very different, and they had actually done it. That was going to take time to think about, to understand on a personal level more than as a group. For Raine, he had started that in such a bad space that he could have slept with anyone and been happy. The difference for him was made in the heat of everything that happened between them before that moment.
<p>
For Raine, he had been through so much with Quinn, and with Sirius. They had both become such a significant part of his life, even before the change - but especially after for Sirius. It took so much to think about for Raine to come to terms with his feelings when everything came to happen. The amounts of lust were understood, but the other things in that heat? The love he had told Quinn just barely a week ago he didn't know was real... Trying to figure out how to express it now, after everything. He didn't want Quinn to question it, and he never wanted to question it again.
<p>
All of these thoughts and more clouded Raine as he had attempted to hunt. Each time he thought he was going to take someone, to feed, he simply couldn't. His mind went to the thing that started it all. The girl, the one who died knowing his name. The one who died begging for her life. It made it so hard for him to just let the blood lust take over, to save him from seeing. Save him from feeling until it was too late. He was defeated, though, by his own humanity which still lingered. He was defeated by the new memories which held him back and caused him to turn home after so many wasted hours.
<p>
When he walked in the door he noticed the way Quinn's scent held stronger. Raine probably looked as weak as he felt, unable to sufficiently feed himself since Quinn had left a few days ago. Raine followed the scent into the room where Quinn was, and a curious look took to his features. Quinn had been gone plenty long enough to think everything over, and Raine wondered what he had decided. There was a lot in what happened, and it meant sharing. Not just sharing Quinn, but for Quinn to share both Raine and Sirius. The boy didn't know how easy that would be or Quinn, or how hard. He wondered if that was why he had left even.
<P>
Still, better than this silence was to know. To know what all of this meant, and to make sure Quinn knows where he stood. "I'm glad you're back." Raine spoke very simply for now, not wanting to push too far too fast. He was really glad that Quinn was back, even if he did feel so hungry. Even if Quinn had broken him down so many times, Raine was still happy to see him. Raine had been so vulnerable when they met, and now Quinn himself made Raine vulnerable.

</div><div class="h-note">

@Tarquin Ellis // Break all the things!

</div></div><div style="font-size: 10px; font-family: arial; text-transform: uppercase;">Template by <a href="http://cttw.jcink.net/index.php?showuser=3623">yuno</a></center>[/dohtml]
Dec 4 2017, 05:01 AM
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Details - Raines Journal

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<div class="cs-gen-note">This is hidden within the Ellis estate. </div>

Raine's losing his mind, and with that he's trying to keep track of it in some ways at the least. The below is his journal. He's keeping it in poetry because thats easier for him than writing thoughts as just those. At least a poem was something someone would read as art, rather than consider his deep thoughts if this book ever does become found.

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<center><b>Losing my mind - .</b></center><p></p>
I'm losing my mind so I'll keept his just so I know theres still something there for me. When I don't come back from my madness, at least there will be this. If I ever forget, at least I'll remember how I felt. <p>



<center><b>Who?</b></center><p></p>
I don't recognize those dark eyes anymore.<br>
I don't know who it is looking back at me<br>
There isn't any more light in his eyes<br>
Why did the light disappear?<br>
Why can't I recognize that man in the mirror? <p>

<center><b>Poison</b></center><p></p>

I feel it burning through me,<br>
Why do you do this so easily?<br>
I'm dying slowly<br>
I can't escape you<br>
You are killing me, like poison.<br>
The worst kind,<br>
The kind that pretends to be beautiful<br>
The worst kind<br>
The kind that I want to drink.<br>
You are poison, and I'm helplessly addicted.



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